Datacenter Caption Contest

sorry... no pretty geeks here

In the tradition of “Fake Steve Jobs I’d like to do a caption contest.

We have a very nice datacenter facility, and a local photography studio asked us to use it to capture some images for sale as stock photography. They spent a half-day in our facility with, models and lights, and a stylist taking over our conference room for makeup, plus one of us d.f geeks watching their every move in the facility to make sure they didn’t touch anything the wrong way!

I found it funny what they chose to shoot, and where they chose to shoot. For some reason they were obsessed with this particular part of the facility. It is a “hot aisle” meaning the backsides of the servers are all pointed inward here. The HVAC systems dump cold air on the front sides and a return removes the hot air from above. It is also the “ugly” side of both of the aisles. Power and network cables everywhere and of course all that hot air blowing on you. It is also a part of the datacenter where our “single server” colocation customers are housed. This means that the variety of hardware is astounding. This of course makes cable management a real PITA. I’m not particularly proud of this view, but what can I say? They took some good shots, which have ironically turned up in print advertising and websites of our competitors! Gotta love that. I’ll share more shots later, but let’s talk about this one.

Anyway, whenever I see stock photography in a “geek” context it really stands out to me. I mean NONE of the geeks that I know and certainly none of them that work at digital.forest are this attractive. 😉 None of them have clothes this nice. None of them have this level of … what shall we say… “personal grooming.” And most importantly, none of them have two X chromosomes.

So my caption would read “We are too attractive to work here!”

What would your caption say?

17 thoughts on “Datacenter Caption Contest”

  1. The sales and marketing people have found a kinky new place to have their office orgies. (IT people not invited.)

  2. Aaron, your #5 was actually uttered by one of my staff… who are all very white-n-nerdy as you can imagine. We do have a black guy at d.f, but he works in the Sales department.

  3. This picture is obviously fake. Real IT minions don’t make enough money to afford those clothes, haircuts, skin care products, teeth whitening and straightening treatments, colored contacts, or personal trainers. And don’t get me started about the smiling.

  4. Proof that any pole dancer, stripper, or male prostitute can improve their lot in life via the miracle of computers.

    Who the hell am I kidding, that’s not an improvement.

  5. You know, I am in no way a model, and yet I’ve probably had a more successful modeling career than any of these people will in terms of exposure.

  6. I won’t try to compete with Aaron… but did you do the ‘other shot’ Chuck – where your guys were shot in the same location? you need both to really compare! 🙂


  7. Biff is smiling, which tells us where Kim’s hand is.

    Based on Kim’s expression, I’d say Skippy’s still got that hangnail problem.

    which suggests:

    digital.forest: We handle the circle jerks so you don’t have to.
    digital.forest: Every third colo gets you a handjob! Every fifth colo, you get to pick the hand!
    digital.forest: Why host your data with ugly people?
    digital.forest: Maintaining servers with one hand, customers with the other.
    digital.forest: We put the sex in sexual harrasment!
    digital.forest: Wouldn’t you rather have your server in our free hand?
    digital.forest: Luckily, our server racks are bigger than our admin’s!

  8. We can always count on you John to bring us to the LCD (used here in a mathematical context).


  9. Ya know, the guys in this foto have better bodies thn the woman….ewww!
    I never did go for that “Twiggy” look! Eat a steak, lady!

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